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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

31 Day Re-Set Challenge

Good Morning World! Today I'm beginning the 31 Day Re-set Challenge, led by one of my favorite bloggers, Rosetta Thurman over at Happy Black Woman. I'm excited, though I am not sure what I hope to gain from this. However, if a little bit more focus and clarity comes my way, I won't be mad at that.

Today's assignment is to choose a notebook (I'm planning to raid the Border's near my job that's having a final sale) and a mantra. I cheated with my mantra, and I'm going to use one that Rosetta linked to in her list of quotes.

“Life only demands from you the strength you possess.”- Dag Hammarskjold

Hopefully over the course of this challenge, I'll look up this Hammarskjold character. It would seem like knowing my source would be helpful. I'll put it on the list...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Washington Post Suggests Black Women Take Up Skiing

Clearly I lied last time I said I was going to restart this thing. So I'm not making any promises, I'm just gonna write.

Unless you've been hiding under a rock, or perhaps if you're a wealthy white republican, you have probably heard the following "news" that goes something like this:

The educated and successful black woman is in crisis! SHE CAN'T FIND A BLACK MAN! Especially not one of her own caliber! She is lonely and bitter! What ever shall she do?! EUREKA! MAYBE SHE SHOULD DATE OUTSIDE OF HER RACE!
Pause while you all process your shock and disbelief.

Aaand we're back.

Many many people have weighed in on this. I won't link to them, because as one of my fav tweeter/blogger/blackfeministfolks Sister Toldja would say, your google is not broke. Actually, I'll link to her, because she rocks, but not her specific post, since she says what I want only better, and this is MY blog. Okay, only child moment done, and back to the point: I'm gonna share my feelings on the matter, because, as my twitter followers discovered today, I have feelings about it.

Now, for the record, I am not against interracial dating in principle. Two people who love themselves and their identities (yes, I believe race & ethnicity & how we deal with them are integral to identity) and want to date people who don't look like their mamas and daddies can be perfectly happy & well adjusted. More power to them. I do believe love comes in all colors, and have even skiied the slopes myself in my "dating history" as it were. I always went to school with white men, and one or a few have caught my eye.

But, at this point, and for the forseeable future, my desire is to love a black man. As I tweeted,

"I want to be with a black man, have black babies, and frolic in Black love. And I will. Ratio can kiss my beautiful black behind."

Now I'm no separatist or idealogue. I like people of all colors and creeds, and they like me. But at some point I can't quite pinpoint, the concept of Black love became very important to me. And I am not ashamed. I knew (though not so starkly as I do now) when I ignored the application packets for HBCUs that I was leading myself away, not towards, many men of African descent. But I refuse to find my education & ambition incompatible with finding a partner of my own race. Essence has been quoting ratios at me for years, but I've always said, I don't need the [insert ludicrous percentage here] that are unavailable. I just need one.

And I know that the Washington Post is not speaking directly to my early twenties self. I know there are people wondering why it'd even bother me, and saying I should just live my life. But I resent the implications of a national newspaper declaring that "my people" are in some sort of love drought, as though the larger American (and Western) population is doing so much better. This is NOT the latest pathology that liberals can find and cure.

Black women have always headed households, and thus have striven to make themselves attractive to employers. This generally means education, and it's not new. I find this new line of arguments too similar to what "we've" (in quotes because this started well before my time) heard for years. From black women who were too lascivious to be raped and black men who were powerless to stop it, to the black matriarchy in the Moynihan report that was castrating men and ruining families, to the present day black woman who is getting educated and making money and leaving her potential husbands behind, it is the same narrative. Black people can't get it together. Black women won't submit to the traditional model of American womanhood, and our men can't live up to masculinity's demands. I, for one, am over it.

In fact, I think it's important to point out that this is not solely a black woman's issue. Women of every complexion are making more money than men, and we the people of America are gonna have to deal with the results of the women's movement one of these days. To treat the need for a new marriage model as though it's a Black woman's issue marginalizes the real problem that many of us have with not knowing how to love one another, especially for keeps.

Even MORE galling is the idea that it takes some magazine or newspaper article to introduce the idea of dating interracially. As though anti-miscegenation laws weren't around because people were doing something to outlaw. Giving the eye to a white man is NOT new, and I don't need anyone's permission to do so. I'll date who I want, when I want, and I don't need some concept of supply and demand to grant me the opportunity. People are not oil prices. Stop.it.

But most disappointing of all are the black men jumping on the band wagon to tell me and mine everything we are doing wrong, and why we're single. From Steve Harvey, to angry men on twitter, to strangers on the metro, every black man seems emboldened to become a coach on how to catch and keep a good brother like themselves. (Never mind many of their shady dating histories and treatment of women.) Now I'm not saying that there isn't such a thing as a bitter & beleagured black woman. But if this is really so epidemic, doesn't anyone think there may be a reason, that is not solely our fault? And of ALL people, it would be nice if black men weren't berating us. By taking themselves and their privilege out of the equation, black men take black women down another unnecessary peg. We become crazy shrews with unreasonable standards who don't love them, when history demonstrates that is false.

Well world, I could go on and on, but I shan't because I went in on twitter already, and someone (everyone?) is tired of it. My points are as follows-
  1. I don't need the media, black men, or America telling me who or how to date. 
  2. This is not a new situation, and there are no novel solutions. Just love and hard work and a society as a whole that values love and commitment.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Getting back into this blogging thing...

I have been quite absent. There are many things to write about, and I need to assess the adventure tally and figure out how far behind I am.

But for the moment, I shall start with a simple check in.

Nags:

  • I need to invest in clothes: warm weather office attire is becoming a must. Actually I just need clothes that fit. 
  • Also need to invest in a phone that is consistently functioning.
  • I missed mingling with Dukies yesterday. Muy triste...

Brags:
  • Pumpkin spice lattes make my life. I think I like them more than most men I've dated.
  • I have business cards! Yay!
  • Dance class tonite! Love it!
  • Did I mention pumpkin spice lattes rock?

Monday, October 5, 2009

I have apparently joined the twitterverse, despite remaining reluctant.
http://twitter.com/othersuchmadnss

Also I owe anyone still paying attention a myriad of updates. Sorry... having a life got in the way of writing about said life.  But I'll get back on it ASAP.
Just not right now...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Happy Lunch Hour!

Hello all!


Firstly, I just want to say thanks to everyone who reads this. I'm having a lot of fun writing it, which is basically what matters to the only child in me, but it's good to know that someone is reading and enjoying, versus me putting un-fun chatter into cyberspace. Actually, it seems like several folks are reading. Score! 

I want to go for a walk in the beautiful weather outside, so this shall be a quick lunchtime check-in.

Nags: I am missing several pieces of pop culture that must be you-tubed or Hulued. (I have no idea how I'd spell that last one. Yes, I realize it's my own fault for making up verbs.) Namely, Whitney Houston's interview with Oprah and Kanye West's interview on Jay Leno. I'm super duper curious about both, and the snippets I heard from Whitney's were pretty deep. I have got to get on it.
Brags: I just had the BEST.SANDWICH.EVER. Well, maybe not ever, but what's a blog without a touch of hyperbole? It was turkey and avocado and had swiss cheese, and I'm so FULL. But not that uncomfy full, where you feel like you should be wearing stretch pants and be near a pillow. That satisfied full where all is right with the world. The kind I'd grant to all those starving children in Africa my aunt used to talk about when she wanted me to finish my food. The good kind, lol. I hadn't made myself a sandwich in a good minute, and clearly my socks have been rocked.
 



Note: this is not my sandwich, but I think blogs with pictures are more fun, and this one has the right idea.







Okay folks, I know this wasn't the most riveting post ever, but I had fun anyway, hope you did too. After all, when is talking about food not awesome?!

OH! Adventure update-
  1. I start modern dance class this week! On Thursday! Yay! It will either be so much fun, or so much humiliation. More likely some combo of the two, lol. 
  2. I have every intention of making sushi on Saturday, now that funds are not too tight to buy ingredients.
  3. I'm thinking something cultural for the 3rd one. The DC Short Film Fest is still around til Thursday. Perhaps I can convince a co-worker to come with, or go post dance if the dance buddy is down. We'll see. If not that... something, lol. I am NOT feeling being behind schedule.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Clearly I'm not that focused today...

Dear Co-Workers,

If any of y'all happen to read this, and check the time stamp I'm sorry. It's Monday, and I'm just not feeling this whole work thing. I'm working on my memo though honest. This whole becoming a social networking expert concept just keeps getting me sidetracked. Please don't fire me.

Yours,
Sam

Alright, now that that's out of the way- just a quick update on my earlier nag- interesting perspective from Professor MAN. (If I knew how to do that thing where you start someone's post and then it finishes on their blog, I would. But, as you can see, I don't. So click it yourselves please and thanks! )

It is indeed quite possible that all of this was staged. That would have been genius marketing on MTV's part, though I hesitate to give them that much credit.
I do however, believe that cultural scripts were definitely followed. The usual folks denounced Kanye, and the usuals stuck up for him, Ms. Swift got to look aghast at the Black bogeyman, and I am quite sure many more "urban" folks are aware of her presence than previously. Gotta say though, if it was staged I think Beyonce got the best deal of the bunch. Nice way to make up for any lingering doubts about her divadom to those who remember Destiny's Child's many personnel changes and her much gossiped about role in that. I drank her Kool-aid long ago, but I saw at least one facebook status of a new convert after last night...

Okay, exiting pop culture to focus on saving the world. Gotta get something done today if I want to keep riding my non-profit high horse!

Almost Forgot!

Well, not really, but thought I'd add it separately in the interest of brevity:

Nags: Ummmm, I dunno. I'm feeling pretty good today. Just for the sake of putting one out there, I suppose I'll mention the shenanigans of my people that seemed to dominate the weekend. Now let it be known that I'm so over the whole "you just set us ALL back 100 years" (why is it always a whoooole century btw?!). And I think we're past the age where one of us represents everyone, assuming you're not in a classroom at Duke (a digression I'll avoid). But, let's just be honest, there are stereotypes about us acting a fool, and I do think it's nice when we keep it classy- ie not scaring tennis refs or damaging teenage girls.



I'm not saying I don't agree on some level, but that was CLEARLY not the time or place. Dude really made it more about himself than either woman, and that's a shame. And I've heard it compared to his comments on George Bush, but I think it's not the same, because while George could have done more than fly over New Orleans, poor Taylor didn't award herself a moon man. She was just doin' her.




Apparently she's apologized now. Good job, though I thought she would anyway. I mean, again, it was not okay, but I like to think she just got caught up in the emotion of the game. At least it's not habitual for her to say crazy stuff in public.





Brags: While we're talking about famous Black folk, Beyonce was so classy. I'm glad she righted her friend's wrong. 
On a personal note: Like I said, today is a good day. It's been a productive lunch hour, what with 2 updates and whatnot, and now I'm gonna get back to writing a memo for my new intern! (Well, she's not just mine, but I'm excited anyway!) Also, I am wearing a skirt I haven't fit since freshman year of college. That's pretty great too.

Well folks, like I said, gonna get back to work now. Laters!

Falling off the Wagon

I am most definitely slacking on these adventures. In my defense however, I had two friend dates, both of which could be seen as adventurous.

Eating Mexican food in Chinatown, it has been alleged, could truly have put my tummy in peril (all was well, thank goodness). That episode on Thursday was supposed to be an adventure, as I had plans to ask someone who appeared to have been in Chinatown when it actually was Chinatown about the area's history. Now, this could have been really fascinating, as I like random interviews, but I felt a little racist. I mean, I'll admit that I can't tell country of origin by sight, and what if the person I'd approached wasn't Chinese? Major faux pas. Or, what if a shopkeeper was just as new to the area as Urban Outfitters. I refuse to be one of those people who thinks they're all liberal and aware and PC, but then fails epically. So, rather than sounding like the kid who's "best friend is black! HONEST!", I skipped it, and ate my Chipotle.

I diiiid do some google research though. Apparently Chinatown was more of a Germantown until the 1930's, and hasn't been "authentically" Chinese since about the 80's. The city actually built the famous bridge more to commemorate what was once there rather than what is.


It's actually pretty sad to me, and yet another comment on gentrification in the District (I haven't made any on this blog to my remembrance, but it's a ponderance of mine in real life). Basically there isn't much of old Chinatown left (we looked, and so did this great photojournal). Apparently both Chocolate City and Chinatown suffer from urban renewal. Who knew?
So that I'll count as half an adventure, since I didn't totally follow through, but learned something anyway.


I also went out on Friday, and didn't get home until after midnight! I know what you're thinking "Whoooaa! Party animal!" It could be construed as an adventure, since I didn't know most of the people, and don't usually stay out that late anymore.

So together, I'll count it as 1 adventure total last week, which works since I still need to make sushi. I'll find a way to work in three this week and stay on track. Go team!

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Old Man is Snoring

This morning it was raining cats, dogs and giraffes. Yes, giraffes. It is that serious.




And I couldn't help but think, that the last time I remember having somewhere to be during such a storm, I was still at Duke. And I think I made that an e-meeting (read: a gchat conversation rather than leaving my apartment and treking across campus.) Buuut today I sat in traffic, avoided hydroplaning purely through prayer, and got to work on time. What a difference a few months makes. Suppose I'm doing that dependable thing I vowed to try post-grad.


And now to the daily vent session. (These make me feel good. How do y'all feel about it?):

Nags: I realize that this is entirely on me, and I'll fix it as of next week, but I have totally fallen off the weekday workout wagon. Shame on me. And it's a vicious cycle, because not getting those endorphins makes me sluggish, which makes me not wanna work out, and on and on. Note to self- do better.
Brags: It's a friend filled week! Yay Dukies! And yay for Chipotle not kicking us out after an extended stay. And especially yay for one of my fav sopranos relocating to the District. Awesomeness all around. Oh! And a brag on my hair withstanding the rain. That hairdresser most definitely earned her tip.



Updates on adventure count stats laterrrrr. Off to vacuum the office, lol. Ohh the joys of small non-profits. ^Exciting^***


***Note: The above carrots are now going to be used to indicate sarcasm, per the suggestion of Jenny Rose. Sarcastic carrots. I like it. Learn it, use it, spread it, love it!